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Do Poles have teeny weenies?

It is a known phenomenon that many Polish women have foreign boyfriends and husbands. However only few Polish men have foreign girlfriends and wives. Many people have wondered why.Now we might have come to a possible explanation. As paper revealed today, an EU study has found that Polish men have have, on average, the smallest penises in the European Union.

The EU has issued an official law regarding penis sizes, finding there are SMALL, MEDIUM and LARGE. The EU penis measure starts at 14.1 cm erect (small), medium penises start at 16.1 and large at 18.1. The study by European Society for Sexual Medicine was conducted on 50,000 men across the EU and has found that 10% of European men have penises smaller then 14.1. 66% say they have a medium size penis.

Apparently largest penises are to be found among Scandinavian and Italian men, reaching even 25 cm erect. Poles occupy one of the last places on the list, losing even with Germany.

The study was however based not on measurements but on surveys, and we just as well could have just found out Scandinavians and Italians are the biggest liars in the EU:)

But don’t panic. For men who are unhappy with their size, sexologist Lew Starowicz advises having sex more frequently. As any unused body organ decreases in strength and size.

Poles in British pop-culture

The number of Polish people relocating to Britain must have increased the visibility of Poles in the media. It did. However each time I see a Polish character on Britsh tv it leaves me confused, or wondering wtf? Poles may be used as comic relief, for their awkwardness (see The Peep Show series 4). Or to introduce some awkward theme: tn ‘Skins’ (series 1) there’s an unlikely character of ‘Danuta’, member of the unsympathetic private school posh crowd – a big girl with intense sexual appetite for rough men (“chłopy”). And that’s pretty much all about her: she’s got a strange name and behaves in a strange way. She’s posh and un-posh (vulgar) at the same time.

What occurred to me, is that Poles in these productions are never ‘us’. They are ‘them’. They’re not in the cool gang, they’re not befriended by the protagonists. They are somewhere outside, in the background, you see them but don’t actually get to know them or want to get to know them. Their mindframes are unknown and probably uninteresting.

This is similar to how gay people are depicted (or not) in Polish pop-culture. Either comic relief, or plain strange. Does it mean British people have yet to digest the ‘Polish wave’ of recent years?

Do you know other examples of Polish characters appearing currently in British pop-culture?

development – continuing or interrupted?

Recently a fellow blogger shared his thoughts on Poland’s development, or lack thereof.

At first I was so surprised, it really confused me. It’s contradictory with common beliefs and my personal experience. I decided to check up some statistics. All figures come from Central Statistical Office and Eurostat.

LIFE EXPECTANCY
1989 for zero-year-olds (men): 66.76 – (women): 75.45
2006 for zero-year-olds (men): 70.93 – (women): 79.62

GROSS DOMESTIC PRODUCT PER CAPITA – current prices
1995: 8,541 zł
2004: 23,189 zł
2007: 32,938 zł

INDICES OF GROSS DOMESTIC PRODUCT PER CAPITA – constant prices
(when 1990 is 100)
1998: 130
2004: 160

INDEX OF AVERAGE MONTHLY GROSS REAL WAGES AND SALARIES
(when 1992 is 100)
1995 – 104.2
2000 – 127.2
2004 – 137.7

RETAIL SALES – CONSTANT PRICES
(when 1990 is 100)
1995 – 126.1
2000 – 151.8
2004 – 164.6

DISTRIBUTION NETWORK
water lines in thous. km
1990: 93.2
2004: 239
sewerage (inc. collectors) in thous. km
1990: 26.5
2004: 73.9

DWELLING STOCKS
1990: 11,022,000
2004: 12,683,000

STUDENTS OF HIGHER EDUCATION INSTITUTIONS
1990: 394,000
2004: 1,926,000

TELEPHONE MAIN LINES
1990: 3,293,000
2004: 12,479,000

CONSUMPTION OF FRUIT in kilograms per person per year
fruit: 1990 – 28.9; 2004 – 55.0

It seems ordinary people’s observations not always reflect the whole reality. The road network not keeping up with constant stream of new vehicles and increasing traffic is not everything. Nor is it the bureaucracy or the many structural problems Polish economy still needs to overcome. All these should be seen in perspective of entrepreneurship and increasing standards of living.

My personal experience and therefore common sense also suggest something contradicting with Scatts’s observations. 16 years ago my family used to live in a tiny 2-room apartment. Now we live in a four-times larger house (which doubled in value within last 4 years). Public transport vehicles in my town are all shining and new. City’s sewer no longer drops the city’s poo to the Vistula – now it all goes to treatment plant to protect the environment. Drinking water is now provided through a new plant, and is no longer purified with chlorine, but with use of more advanced and ecological technologies. The police are being more and more friendly and generally more up to standards. City centre has been revitalised, most historic buildings, whole blocks, renovated, as most of the historic city streets. Mayor transit roads leading through the city have been widened and redone. Kilometres of new bike lanes have been added, following a plan to create a comprehensive city-wide network. Part of the city ringroad is ready, together with a new bridge (part of the future A1 (Rome-Helsinki) motorway). New city districts that were developed in recent years are tidy and pleasant, some areas are even pretty. New civil society movements have emerged: political, social, artistic, hobbyist. Soon a new Modern Art Museum will be opened. Local largest university, UMK, ranked 4-6th, is undergoing constant development. Recent invention of an optical eye-diagnosis machine will probably help many people around the world keep their sight. Unemployment is very low, around 6% (probably lower, as many people work in grey zone, being registered as unemployed to maintain free access to health insurance). Wherever you turn your head there’s progress – people even drink in a more cultured way or bravely bring capitalism to the wild East. ;))

Today I read in Przekrój that in 2007 UNICEF ranked Poland 14th in terms of providing welfare for children – while Britain was 21st. Mhhhm.

Remotely familiar?

Happy family

Local Polish newspaper used this touching family image recently to illustrate an article on local couples – apparently on average being more eager to get hitched and have kids then elsewhere in the country.

Note that the male is featured in the foreground in a laid back and manly pose, holding the modern symbol of power: tv remote. (Power, but also leisure and laziness.) His female presents her baby in a display of fertility. (Fertility, plus responsibility and hard work.)

Coincidence or a subconscious reflexion of existing gender relations?


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